Ugh

I'm sitting in class listening to a pointed lecture about how I NEED to be an engineer.

Kill me now.

In other news...

I got a random referral on analytics the other day from someone who googled "locker locks". Interesting.

To the fashion industry

You can really make shopping unpleasant. Some of it's not your fault--you can't control traffic or the number of people trying to crowd into your stores--but a lot of it is.

Not everyone weighs ninety pounds. I know, it's hard to believe. And there are even fewer people who weigh ninety pounds and still have big chests. It might be a good idea is you started making less clothing for those people and tried to focus on the average sized among us.

Vanity sizing does not make me feel smaller or better about myself. It just annoys me, because I like to be able to go into a store, grab a size six, and walk out. Preferably without trying it on. That doesn't work when the pair of shorts or jeans or whatever that actually fits me is labeled as a size two. I know that I'm not a size two. I'm not stupid. You don't have to try and flatter me (except by making clothes that look good on people weighing more that 90 pounds).

It would be a good idea for you to make shirts labeled as different sizes actually be different sizes. and not just in the broadness of the shoulder. Usually, people of two different sizes aren't different because of the broadness of their shoulders. I don't know what gave you that impression. But I hate trying on two shirts and having them look exactly the same where the problem was in the first place.

It's summertime. Don't sell only black clothes. Trust me.

You sell approximately five sizes: extra-small, small, medium, large, and extra-large. What about us poor people who are swimming in one size but can't breathe in the next one down? Help, please. H&M had the right idea--they used numbers for all the clothes, including t-shirts. But then the shirts were all essentially the same size. Not helpful.

The character of your store is not helped by clerks who are a) loudly gossiping or b) yelling at each other. (Customers yelling at each other are even more annoying, but that's not your fault.) It doesn't help if the clerks are overattentive, either, or if they seem annoyed if you ask for a dressing room.

About dressing rooms: it would be nice if you would make sure that your dressing rooms have at least two or three hooks for hangers and shelves or a bench wide enough to put a bunch of clothes on. A stool doesn't really work, especially if it takes up about half the space in the room, which, in theory, should be big enough for an average-sized person to, you know, try on clothes in.

The idea of putting little numbers near the tops of hangers is good. But don't bother if you're not going to put the right sized clothes on them. It only makes matters worse.

But thank you for having sales Memorial Day weekend. I got four pairs of shorts, five shirts, and one tank top for about 110 bucks. Now I don't have to go naked all summer.

~ps

Yay Ambiguity

My sister got her first cell phone for Christmas--a red Chocolate. Since my parent had never bought a texting plan for me, they decided to wait and see how much texting she did.

She spent $18.90 that first month. Mom and Dad sprung for the five-dollar unlimited plan.

Mom said, do you want to be on that plan, too?

I said (according to me) okay, that would be good.
I said (according to her) eh (my I'm-too-lazy-to-talk response).

Last month, I spent twenty bucks on texts. Oops.*

I am now on the unlimited plan.

________

*Needless to say, I wouldn't have spent this much if I hadn't thought I had unlimited texts. And I have sometimes texted for homework help.

My mom rocks at embarassing me.

She and my aunt were going to switch cars for a few days. They apparently planned to make the switch tonight. Since my parents would both be at my little sister's concert, Mom told Aunt that she would leave the keys in one of the compartments in the car. She didn't tell anyone else about the plan.

I was sitting tonight working on my lit homework and watching Top Chef reruns for the millionth time when I heard a knock on the front door. I go downstairs and there are my aunt and cousin standing there. To make a long story short, there were no car keys left in the house.

Way to go, mom.

I am very unobservant.

The other day I was selling food at a bakesale for our Model UN. The crowd was winding down as all the kids headed to their buses and the teachers scrambled to leave before the buses made it out of the parking lot.

I was talking to a senior on my left when suddenly I heard a shriek from my [loud] friend, J, on the right. She jumped up and down and gave one of our advisors a hug. The advisor look sheepish while my senior friend reached around me to poke J and say "You didn't know either, did you!" I looked around and asked my advisor what was going on. She motioned to her stomach. She also looked surprised, and when we told her that we had no idea she was pregnant, she gave us a look and said "Well, girls, it's getting a little hard to hide...". I genuinely had no idea!

I guess it's a good thing, though. I don't make a habit of staring at my teachers' stomachs.

The Clinton Campaign and What It Means

Bitch Ph.D. has a post up ( about an article in the New York Times) that pretty much sums up the frustration I feel whenever I talk about politics with any of my Obama-manic friends, or listen to the less-than-serious comments about politics that get made by the guys at my school.

The article really is a good one. The author asks whether Senator Clinton's campaign is showing America that we really have reached equality, or showing that we still have so, so, so far to go. I think it's the latter.

Senator Clinton held a rally at my school back in January, about a week before Super Tuesday. The next day, I walked into my math class, and most of my classmates were telling jokes about how Clinton should have stayed in the kitchen where she belongs. My teacher (who is male) stood there and listened, but didn't say anything.

I figured that the comments would stop once I got out of math, which has a pretty crazy group of kids, but then I went to engineering and it was the same thing. Lots of guys making lots of stupid "jokes". Lit was better, thanks to the female majority, but chem was the same thing. One of my friends, J., who I know would never, ever, make a joke like that himself, was cracking up, as were most of the other guys in the class (and some of the girls, sadly enough). My chem teacher, a woman, made them stop.

Neither of my afternoon classes were ones where any comments of the sort could be made. In the hallways for the entire day, though, there lots of littles jokes being told. None of the people telling the jokes meant to offend anyone. They knew that women could do anything that men could. I would guess that nearly all of them could name one woman--at the very least--who they have truly looked up to and respected.

But they kept telling their stupid little jokes and making their stupid little comments anyway. Because people were laughing. Teachers walking down the hallway didn't stop them. Girls near them didn't tell them to shut up and think about what they were saying. The guys themselves didn't stop and think. They didn't realize that what they were saying was that their mothers, their sisters, their teachers should only aspire to a life at home, catering to the needs of someone else.

If the situation were reversed, what would have been different about that situation? Say the younger and beloved candidate, the one that everyone looked up to and revered, was a woman. Say that the older candidate, the one with firm Washington ties and a household name, was black. Not one of those guys would have made fun of the black candidate's race. Never. And if they had, teachers would have told them to stop. Maybe they would have been sent to the office. None of their friends would have laughed, or sympathized with them when they got in trouble. It would have been totally different.

Why is that okay? Why is it acceptable for people to make fun of women? I'm not saying that racist comments should be okay, but why is there a difference? The whole idea behind affirmative action and education programs about Dr. King is that we want to correct wrongs that have been made. Well, women were denied the right to VOTE until 1920! We're now in the "post-feminist" period! And it's still okay for stupid kids to laugh at me because I'm offended? It's okay for them to tell me, a student at one of the best high schools in the freaking country, that the woman who I support and--and that point--hope will become the President belongs in the kitchen? And they can say that with no repercussions? They laugh and I tell them to stop and they laugh some more? Is that a sign of all the so-called progress we've made?

I don't see it.

That week, I wrote a post about how frustrated I was about the people who would cop out of any serious discussion by making some joke. I would end up angry and annoyed and feeling like an idiot when everyone around me laughed. That week was miserable for me. It was (I think) the busiest week of the year. I had two extracurriculars that I had major commitments for, plus all the usual tests and essays and projects. The last thing I needed was to be reminded that there are actually some people in this country who would never want me to have a career and be independent.

Progress towards equality is something that, as per the American Dream, we are all theoretically reaching for. But we seem to have reached a plateau. And I can't see how we're going to start moving up again. Check out the comments on the post. Someone pointed out that if women stand up for themselves, they get labeled as a "whiny woman", and, sadly, there aren't a whole lot of men at the national level who are going to stand up for us.

I don't really know what to say. There are so many things that bother me about the way women are treated today. I don't know if that stems from my status as one of seven girls in my engineering program, or if it's something I would notice and an all-girls' prep school. I just wish it were different. I hope it will be someday.

Not the best day in the world...

Today I woke up, ate leftover spaghetti for breakfast, then went for a run. I ran 1.84 miles (thank you GoogleEarth) and was reminded that I haven't ran more than a mile in about ten months. Running 3.1 miles next weekend is going to be SO FUN. I chilled and studied for the SAT Math for awhile. There was this one problem that I did like ten times and kept getting it wrong. The really sad part was that it was a really really simple problem: (x-(1+i))(x-(1-i))(x+1). I mean, I literally did this problem about twenty times. I made different mistakes each time too. It was very depressing, especially considering that I have less than three weeks to figure this out.

I then went to tennis. I played someone way out of my league and lost 7-0 (the timer saved me). My serve was off. My legs felt like they were made of lead. I couldn't hit a forehand without the ball going out. It was a very long and painful match.

Now I'm home and my sister has three of her loudest friends over. Fun fun fun.

Some thoughts

I'm too disorganized to write full-ish posts about these:

1. Half days: I lovelovelove half days. But they have absolutely no point. And I end up eating four meals because I eat at ten am when I would normally have lunch, plus eat lunch again at 1:30 when I get home.
   
2. Courses: You'd think I would have learned by now that I shouldn't take too many courses and end up stressing too much. But no. I'm signing up for IB Lit, IB History, AP Math BC, and AP Chem.
   
3. My future: I really, really, like chemistry. And I'm really good at physics. But I love history and debate. I just love how my interests combine so nicely.
4. SATs: June 7th is the date of the SAT-II Math 2. We're having houseguests the night before. It took me way too long to get my parents to realize that kicking me out of my room the night before the SAT was a dumb idea. I mean, waaaaayyyy too long. Like, I had to explain that THIS IS IMPORTANT about ten times. ("But Aunt So-and-so needs a room...")
   
5. SATs again: who on earth came up with the idea that the best way to determine a students' potential is by making them sit for one really really long test early in the morning. Even normal teachers realize that we all have our off days when we barely know how to add 1+1.
6. Tests: I should be studying right now.

Omg!

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2008/05/14/state/n111151D62.DTL

California State Supreme Court Overturns Gay Marriage Ban!

A realization

Even if I don't get my 95.4 average in math, and end up with an A-minus, the A's in my other 3474598073 classes will effectively cancel it out.

My Motivation

During weeks like this, when it's test, quiz, project, test, test, etc, etc, etc, I just remind myself that it will be over in 21 days, when the trimester ends. And one of them is a half-day! And another is a weird day when we have Monday through Thursday off, then school on Friday!

But then I say, yeah, but those days are spread over a month. Another month of hell.

(And oh yeah, I'm running a 5k in two weeks that I haven't started preparing for at all.)

You know your school is too intense when...

1. You can't carry your backpack
2. You consider carrying your backpack down a flight of stairs exercise.
3. You never know the weather because you don't have time to go outside.
4. Every day is one of "those days"
5. ALL your schoolmates' away messages say "working" or "way too much work to do"
6. You have dreams about sleeping (sad, but it's happened)
7. You don't have time to do work for the classes you like, but know you have an A in
8. Every single assignment makes you want to cry
9. You have tried to do homework while crying/eating/sleeping/showering (once I needed to memorize something so I tape-recorded it and played it in the shower)
10. You spend weekends doing homework
11. You can't remember the last time you went out on a weeknight
12. The idea of having to go out on a weeknight makes you want to fall asleep
13. You have fallen asleep while standing up/eating/showering/etc.

I'm too tired to think of any more.

Stupid.

Last night, I was so happy. I relaxed, wrote a blog post, read the newspaper and a magazine, and just chilled. It was my first night off in a while. Guess what I didn't do? My Chem homework on Webassign that was due at 11:59.

I really can't afford to lose points in chem. What a way to ruin the rest of my Saturday afternoon. Now I have to get a hundred on the quiz on Tuesday, which I was hoping to be able to chill a little about, because I have a math test that day.

I am such an idiot. The thrill I got from actually playing a decent game of tennis today is gone. I feel so burned out. All I want to do is sleep or read or eat or something. Obviously, I don't have time to do that.

Picnic!

My school has a picnic each May to welcome the pre-frosh and to force the regular students to go outside at least once a year. As a pre-frosh, it's terrifying: the peer leader kids force you to dance and to say hello to the people you're going to spend the next four years with.


My sister is a pre-frosh this year. Kind of. She got in (thank god. ) but doesn't want to go. She's shadowing on June second, but I'm worried that she'll get a nerdy or antisocial freshman to shadow and will hate the school. During the time she was making her decision, I was going through one of the most stressful times in my life thus far. I mean, I was a wreck. I cried in Model UN once, and was a complete basket case. So she now thinks that all my school is is a soul-sucking monstrous machine (which it is, sometimes) rather than the cool, welcoming, and drug-free (unlike my town high school, obviously) place it is.

She's dreading the picnic. She's dreading having to talk to people who she thinks she'll never see again. I hate that, because I didn't plan correctly and give myself some relaxation time, she might end up at my town high school. Don't get my wrong, it's one of the top schools in the county, but it's not one of the top schools in the world like mine is (IMO, of course).

At the picnic today, I'll be sitting at the Model UN table, coercing prefrosh into giving me their contact info so that we can spam them later and force them to be Model UNers next year. It should be fun. I hope my little sis sees some cool people there and starts to realize that we're not a nerd school. At least, not completely.

My decision

I think I've narrowed my options down to four classes: Western Civ. Since the Reformation, Intro to Philosophy, Intro to Religion, and English Comp.

I came to the computer thinking that I had made my final decision and would be taking US History To Reconstruction, but the only time I could take it would be Monday through Thursday, 6-7:45 each night, which would not be fun at all, since tennis ends at four and I wouldn't be able to chill or sit around doing nothing. Or eat dinner with my family. Or, basically, do anything in the evenings. Of course, having made up my mind, I am now disappointed in not being able to take that class that I think I was pretty much leaning towards from the beginning, seeing as it's my absolute favorite subject and would probably be easier than the other courses since I have a pretty strong background in most of the topics covered. My second choice, the other US History course, meets at the same time, so that's out as well.

Each of the four left has its pluses and minuses. I think one of the prime motivators for me to take Western Civ would be so I could try world history again. I got stuck with a teacher that I hate this year (it's a personality/teaching style clash, not that he's a bad teacher for everyone) and I'd like to see if I genuinely dislike the subject or have just melded my dislike for the teacher into my view of the subject. My worry is that it would be either too focused on war or economics, which tend to confuse me, or too much of an overview of everything, and thus not in-depth.

Intro to Philosophy is attractive because I took a one-trimester Philosophy course this year and enjoyed it. The thing is, that was a discussion-based course, and I think that listening to lectures about the philosophers wouldn't be as interesting as talking about them. I have no idea how the course is run, and just risking it might not be the greatest, either, Plus, I really struggled through those philosophy readings. I mean, really, really struggled through them. Sparknotes and Wikipedia and a few of my friends who have read philosophy for fun became my heroes. Although, having taken a course on Philosophy before, at least some of it would probably be easier.

Okay, so I went on RateMyProfessors, and looked at the people who took Intro to Philosophy with him:

"This class was very easy, he is an amazingly nice and tolerant man and the only work we had were two reports. No homework, nothing else. Great class!"
"Cancels class too often, teaches absolutely nothing. Went on a tangent everyday. The only thing you learn is from your other classmates in a group project. I didn't sign up and pay to learn from peers who don't know what they're talking about. In order to be nice, I'll bite my tongue and not add what I really think, but I'm sure you'll see...."
"Friendly and very knowledgeable. Philosophy is a class which can be puzzling in the beginning, but he breaks it down into understandable steps. I recommend everyone take a class with him."

About half say he's a great teacher, half say they learned nothing but got an A. How helpful.

Intro to Religion would shock the hell out of my mother's side of the family. It would probably also give me some more reasons to yell at my friends when they pick arguments about religion with me. Also, we covered proofs of God in my Philosophy elective, so I would have some background in the subject and not be throughly confused all the time. The course description also says that it covers the relationship between religion and society, which is basically my topic for THE PAPER, which deals with the relationship between Puritanism and society.

And finally, the English class. I guess the reason that I'm thinking about taking this is that my last couple of attempts at writing something good have failed miserably. Example: A C on a test from a teacher from whom I've gotten like one grade below a 90 all year. It seems like every time I sit down to try and write something intelligent, I turn out with something not so intelligent.

And finally (I probably should have put this at the beginning), I might not be able to take a class at all, because I'll be gone for a week right in the middle of the course. I probably should have thought of that earlier...

*tears*

This is quite possibly the most touching video I have ever watched in my life:




I've only cried watching a movie once before this, but I sat in front of my laptop in tears watching this.

Tennis, and...

A class.

Since only playing tennis all summer would probably get kind of repetitive, and since I really want to do something intellectual so I can a) put it on my college apps and b) not feel stupid for the first two months of school, I'm going to take a class at the local community college.

Now, though, I have to choose. There are two categories of classes I'm considering. First, you have the ones that would be interesting, but not necessarily "useful", either because I know them already or because they're just weird. Then, there are the ones that will help me, but might not be as fun. So, what do you think? *yes this is a hint*please leave a comment*

Choices (I'll let you guess which fall into which categories):

• Western Civ. since the Reformation
• US History To/Since Reconstruction (two courses. I'm lazy)
• Econ 101: Macroeconomics
• Elementary Stats
• Intro to Philosophy
• Contemporary Moral Issues
• Intro to Religion
• General Psychology
• Sociology 101
• English Composition I

I don't know. The course description that sounds the most interesting is Contemporary Moral Issues, and I think I would learn a lot, but it's from 10-12, and I have tennis at 12:30 12:00. Okay, tennis last year started at 12:30. I think a bunch of my choices are no longer choices. Comment anyway and I'll figure it out...later...

Tennis, Anyone?

This summer, I think I'm going to be playing a lot of tennis.

I called the New Jersey Senators' offices today about my applications.

Lautenberg: He didn't get a slot at all. The lady from his office said that they didn't receive my application. Which I sent in March. Actually, which my school sent in March, because of the ridiculous rule (that 99% of high schools don't have) that no transcripts or recommendations can be sent by the students themselves. I actually don't think that I'm allowed to have a copy of MY OWN transcript.

Menendez: I think the guy said that Senator Menendez only got a slot for a male this year. But I had to call from school (god forbid congressional offices make themselves available to their contituents after five pm) and I couldn't hear well. I also have a cold, and didn't feel like asking him to repeat himself when I could have been taking some meds or something. I asked if my application had been received and he said yes a little too quickly. I don't remember if I even told him my name.

That leaves Congressman Saxton. Who had a page last fall and is thus highly unlikely to get a page this summer. Plus, his staff won't even tell me if I made it to the second round (which they have known since April 14th).

So, instead I'll play tennis, maybe take a course at the local community college, hopefully make varsity, and work on a bunch of campaigns so next year I'll have a better shot. (Maybe I'll make a contact with someone who can make a contact with someone else, who...)

High Achievers

I go to a magnet school. Evey chance he gets, our principal is telling us (and observers from school districts from places like Singapore and Taiwan) that we are the smartest, hardest working, best group of kids around. Right.

Here's how I (along with most of my classmates) do my current events for biology. We're required to write one paragraph summary and one paragraph reaction, and fill up a page.

• Double space.
  
• Use full MLA heading (four line plus the title).
• Write out numbers rather than using numerals. (i.e. nineteen twenties rather than 1920's)
  
• Always include the FULL TITLE of anyone you mention (i.e. "Professor of pediatric neurology at University College London and Great Ormond Street Hospital, and the principal investigator on the study") rather than little title, like "Dr. XXX, a professor".
• Include at least one quote.
• Mention every institution named. So, if it's about people at Oxford, also mention the names of supporting institutions as well as the names of anyone associated with them.

Here's what our summaries look like: "I think that this research should be continued, as it contributes to scientific knowledge...filler filler filler".

Since our teacher only skims them, it doesn't matter to us.

Other habits of high achieving students:

• Writing papers no sooner than two days before they're due.
• Writing down the bare minimum for physics homework and then claiming we didn't know how to do it.
• Missing over two weeks worth of class each year because of trips and competitions.
• Facebook.

I just reread through this post and it really does make us sound like a bunch of lazy slackers. But we're not, trust me. We don't slack off when we're not completely overwhelmed. Maybe I'll post again after I finish up that lab that's due tomorrow.

Miserable

I had a horrible, horrible day.

First I got my grade back on my bio test. Not good.

Then I got my grade back on my lit test. Very not good.

Then we did some SAT prep in journalism. Really really not good.

I have a sore throat, and a headache, and a runny nose, but I can't afford to stay home.

Scariest words I've ever heard.

"John McCain is going to be our next President."

According to my dad. And my dad is usually right with his political predictions.