Saturday, June 28, 2008

Excited!!!

Tomorrow, my two cousins, who are here to visit from Anchorage, Alaska, my sister, and I are going into New York BY OURSELVES. This is a big deal. I've always been the last kid to be allowed to do anything.

Here's the plan: bus from my town at 11-ish, arrive at Port Authority at noon. WE're going to get lunch at Metro Marche, which is literally part of the bus terminal (it doesn't open to it, though.). At two, we're seeing RENT!!! I've wanted to see it for years, but my super-conservative mom doesn't approve. Since the show closes in September, though, I forced her to buy us tickets.

I am SO excited.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

The End of Sophomore Year.

School ended yesterday, thank god.

Sophomore year was pretty rough. As my mom put it, I completely lost at the teacher lottery. In my favorite subject, history, I had a teacher that I completely hated. He didn't even try to prepare us for the common assessments we had to take, and he's a complete jerk. His goal seemed to be to showcase his masculinity as much as possible. He didn't care about us at all. If I went in with a question, he would often brush me off, saying that he had an email to send or something to grade. I feel like if there were some extenuating circumstance beyond everyone's control that made us do poorly on a test, he would let us all fail. He wouldn't let us retake it or give us extra time or anything like that.

And then I had a bunch of really really boring teachers that made me fall asleep. In some of their classes, I could fall asleep and do perfectly well on the tests and quizzes.

My lit teacher was crazy. Seriously crazy. I don't think I ever saw her frown. That terrified me.

Plus, I had to adjust this year to actually having to study. Even freshman year, I could breeze through most subjects. But this year I really had to sit down and work, especially in math and chem. And history, since I never actually got taught any of the material.

So, let's hope that junior year will be better.

Monday, June 23, 2008

The Great College Search

Today we had a half-day at school, so Dad picked me up at 11:35 and we went to visit Vassar College up in Poughkeepsie. I didn't expect much going in, since it didn't meet two of my criteria. I'm not looking for a liberal arts school AT ALL, and I want a school that is in an area where there's stuff going on. I love being in or near a city.

So here's my list of thoughts:

Pro:
  • The campus is pretty, pretty, pretty. I LOVE the campus.
  • Academic freedom. I really want to have the time to take a random class that I just feel like taking. Vassar doesn't have a core curriculum and their majors aren't too intense.
  • 98% of kids live on campus, and there's no Greek system.
  • It's a good school. Enough said.
Con:
  • It's a liberal arts school. Therefore, I can't get a B.S. if I decide to do a double major in Chemistry.
  • It's a little too artsy for me. I'm an engineering kid. I need people who are really down-to-earth around me.
  • Poughkeepsie is only pretending to be a city. Seriously. It has a population of 30,000. The town I currently live in--which is technically called a "village"--has 29,000 people.
  • $$$. My parents say that they'll pay for college, but I don't really want to burden them with the costs of a school I don't like that much.
  • Seems very insular.
  • Too many women. By the time I leave for college, I will have spent four years in a program with seven girls and 28 guys. I'm too used to being in a male-dominated program to switch to a place with majority females.
And now, the question my dad asks me after each college visit: If I had to choose now, where would I want to go. At this point, definitely Lafayette. (We haven't yet visited the schools that, based on stats alone, would fit the best). They have the programs I want and their campus is pretty and they have an AWESOME government and law library. In the hallway outside, there's a portrait of John Marshall. It's sooo cool.

So far we've been choosing colleges to visit based on convenience. But this summer, we won't have to worry as much about staying within a day trip length. My dad has compiled a stpreadsheet with all the SAT scores and stuff of a bunch of schools. WE're estimating that my scores will be around 2100-2200, but if a school doesn't use writing, then I'll have a better chance, because the writing was my weakest section.

The other colleges I've looked at so far:
  • Williams: Remember the part where I said that I want a good location. Well, in the middle of a giant forest doesn't count. If they were actually part of civilization, though, they would be on my list.
  • Lehigh: Too many hills. Sorry.
I've also been on the campuses (but not taken tours) of Seton Hall, William Paterson, GW, and Fairleigh Dickinson.Three of the four are not even being considered. One of the criteria that my parents don't approve of is my desire to be at least an hour and a half, two hours away. I don't want to be visited.

Next schools to look at:
  • Georgetown
  • Boston College
  • Brandeis
  • Duke
  • University of Virginia
  • UPenn
  • Amherst
  • UChicago
  • Columbia
  • NYU
  • Brown
  • Dartmouth
And, I must admit, some more schools that don't interest me in the least.

Any other suggestions?

Sunday, June 22, 2008

I am such a nerd.

The visitor trending graph on my Analytics account looks like a parabola. My first thought: I wonder what its equation is..."

Countdown

Two days left of sophomore year.

Four days until SAT scores come out.

Five or six days until my cousins come back from their college tours.

Eight days until I set foot in Yankee Stadium for the last time.

Twenty days until I leave for vacation.

Sixty-four days until official tennis practice starts.

One hundred five days until the beginning of junior year.

Life is very depressing when you think in terms of a countdown. I don't recommend it.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

A Baby.

Don't worry, I'm not pregnant. (And if I were, do you think I would be allowed onto the Internet? I think not.)

My favorite teacher this year had a baby in August (I think...). Since she's the best teacher EVER, my friend and I are going to buy her something together. (Well, he might not if she doesn't give him an A, but then I'll do it by myself) Oh, and her baby's first name is my middle name! And since I love my middle name, I think that's awesome.

My dad said that restaurant gift cards are pretty much out because we would have to spend more money than we have. So we thought we could get something for her baby.

The choices are clothes or toys...what could we pick? I LOVE the idea of buying clothes, because baby clothes (especially baby girl clothes) are SO adorable, but that could be difficult just because of sizing. I don't even know how old the baby is, exactly. I'd rather not create stress for my teacher by forcing her to have to return stuff.

Toys are hard because a lot of them are a lot of $$$. Plus, what if the baby doesn't like it? That would kind of suck.

What do you think? Toys or clothes? And if I bought clothes, what size should I get?

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

You just made my day.

I can't decide whether I love or hate that one comment on gchat can make me feel better about myself:
Friend: being in the same situation as the great postscript makes me feel better
me: the "great" postscript?
Friend: come on, you got a 4.0 last year
that was darn impressive
me: you mean the overworked, overtired, burnt-out kid?
Friend:: you don't even want to know what my GPA was last year
absolutely hideous
me: who reads books about the supreme court FOR FUN??
you don't want to be me lol
Friend: the great postscript lol*
Thank you for cheering me up for my "omg I might have TWO A-minuses" mood.

Other good news that came today: my math teacher rounds up!!

________
*After this, he said that he plans to live in the bookstore of his summer program's university and read econ books all summer. I love the nerdiness of my school. It makes me feel normal.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

I don't know what to say to this...

From Bitch, Ph.D:
This button is for sale at the Texas state GOP convention.

Needless to say, officials had no idea that this was going on. They "wouldn't have let [the vendor] sell it."

That's it. No "we're shocked" or "we're deeply ashamed" or "the vendor is banned for life." Just "we didn't know."

Craven bigot assholes.
Oh. My. God.

This is reason number 29375927589 that I'm not a Republican.

Monday, June 16, 2008

My annoyances

(in bullets because I'm so so so so tired)

  • The choir banquet is tomorrow, and let's just say my dress is a little snug.
  • The year is supposed to be over. But I have two presentations and a test this week!
  • My sister. She's my little sister. Of course she's annoying.
  • Being tired
  • Not knowing my grades in math and chem. Both of which, at this point, could go either way.
  • Candy Crowley on CNN. She needs to change her name.
  • Having to sit through classes where we do absolutely nothing but not being allowed to leave or fall asleep.
  • My hair.
So. So. Tired.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

ARGH

The Tonys have been on for HALF AN HOUR but I can watch them because for some reason we only have ONE TV that works. And my parents are watching GOLF.

(well, the tvs work, but they just have normal cable, not the IO special with zillions of channels, and have decided that they like to just play static)

UPDATE:
I'm now perched an a stool in the laundry room watching them on the tiny laundry room tv. Bad picture, bad sound, but it's a picture and not just static.

UPDATE AGAIN:
Never mind. Now it's just static. Crap.

Buried

The trimester is OVER.

It officially ended on FRIDAY. It is now SUNDAY. Why on earth do I still have a lab, two presentations, and a test to prepare for??

I honestly don't know what I'm going to do. I need a break. My burned-out self just wants to sit and do absolutely nothing. But I can't. Instead, I get to sit in front of my computer trying to write an essay on Imperialism in Africa without the research that three of my five group members were supposed to send me.

The other day, I was talking to my sister and her friend and tried to explain to them my state of mind. They didn't understand the concept of not working too hard if it didn't count.

I remember when I used to be like them. I did the extra credit assignments and extra work. FOR NOTHING. Is someone asked me to do something like that now, I would laugh in their face.

The funny thing is, I used to identify myself as an overachiever. Now I just identify myself as a burned out student who used to be an overachiever but is going to end up with at least two grades that I'm not very happy with. (Note that my goals for grades have not changed. I want the same grades with less work. Surprise, surprise, it's not working.)

Friday, June 13, 2008

The Marines

My cousin graduated from McGill awhile ago, and after realizing that his grades weren't good enough to get the jobs he wanted, he decided to join the Marines. (That wasn't his only reason; he hasn't been the most disciplined guy and he wanted to change that.)

He went to officer training school last summer but got cut. He spent the year in DC working and getting in shape so that he would have a better chance the next time. Well, he's now back in basic training.

The feeling I have is so weird. I want him to succeed because, well, he's my cousin, but at the same time I almost wish he would get cut so he wouldn't get sent somewhere dangerous. Like, say, Iraq. It's so weird. I'm glad for him, and all my relatives who have been in the military agree that it was a very good experience, but my god. I can't picture him in uniform with a gun and a helmet and whatever else they have to carry around. It's weird that he's grown-up now.

Every summer, my dad's brothers and sisters and all my cousins from that side go to this resort in Vermont. We 'kids' go to day camp (it's way more fun than it sounds and impossible to explain) while the adults play golf and tennis and talk and stuff. I remember when the Marines cousin was still in camp. He, along with the rest of us, played Capture the Flag in the woods and swam in the lake and rode around for hours on his bike. And now he's going to be a Marine?

Another cousin just graduated from high school (at Phillips Exeter). Next fall, she's heading to the naval academy. In four years, she'll be a naval officer.

I'm optimistic enough to hope that, by then, our troops won't be in Iraq. But at heart I'm a worrier, and, in my most worrisome imaginings, I can see John McCain next to Chief Justice Roberts, taking the oath of office, and becoming the next president of the United States. This is the man who my father, a lifelong Republican but way-too-close-to-the-draft member of the Vietnam era, has said he will actively work against this summer.

This is the man who could end up dictating the lives of my cousins. He could send them into a war zone where they are unwanted, and make them stay there after their tours of duty have ended. They could face danger every single day. As young people. Almost still kids.

I'll admit that the "hundred years in Iraq" soundbyte scares me a lot. I know that it was taken out of context and McCain has no intention of leaving troops in there for a hundred years. But the fact that he would say that, even jokingly, is upsetting. How disrespectful to the troops who have been in Iraq, working as hard as they can to end the situation. I've written before about how people saying things that both I and they know they don't mean is still upsetting--its acceptability is really the upsetting part.

Two cousins in the military. A great-uncle who's a priest. A mother who refused to see Barney Frank when he spoke at her work because she was afraid he was going to talk about being gay. A roomful of relatives who booed at negative comments about McCain. If you had to guess my political affiliation, without knowing anything else about me, would you be right?

Somehow I doubt it.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Uh-oh

The engineering project has an animation of the working product, which I put onto youtube and embedded into the webpage. But our school computers don't have flash installed! How is that possible???

I might wait until tomorrow, when I have class, and then get my teacher to fix it. Or, I might just do the lazy thing and stick a link onto the webpage so I can click through to youtube when I make my presentation.

Oh, and I'm failing miserably at math review problems.

The bright side:
I took the chem test! And it was easy, easy, easy! Having that off my back is such a huge relief. Now I have math on Friday, two presentations on Tuesday (not hard. I can give presentations in my sleep at this point), and a Bio Common Assessment on Monday.

I think the only issue is that I may spend all day Saturday in Connecticut at my grandma's. I can probably put in some study time for Bio then (this test, by the way, has not officially been announced yet and I have no clue what it's on, because our last test was two classes ago). Plus, for both presentations, I have at least one person working with me. In Lit, my partner is even more of a perfectionist than I am, so (I hate to admit it) I don't have to do all that much. It's a nice change from the rest of my classes.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Still working

Done:
  • History Final
Why do some teachers feel compelled to test us on material that they never taught? I love history, so trust that I was paying attention and taking notes and (mostly) doing the readings. So why was I totally taken by surprised by material on the review sheet as well as on the test.
  • Engineering project.
What can I say? The class is a joke so I kind of sort of put it off.

To go:
  • Chem test
Send me luck. Eight fifteen tomorrow morning. I need a 93 or above to get an A. I need an A to balance out the A- that I'll have in math.
  • Math Final
I know that I can manage above a ninety. The question is, will I get the 96 that I need for an A final average?? Answer: Nope.

Monday, June 9, 2008

HOT

It's so hot that we got a half-day today!!

My little sister did not. Ha. Serves her right for not coming to my school. Unfortunately, she has the whole day off tomorrow, while I only have a half day.

This makes my week so much less stressful. I am SO HAPPY right now. I've done all I could on my engineering project (without the stuff saved at school), and written my Criminology essay. All before I would normally even get home.

Sunday, June 8, 2008

Welcome to the Republican-Fest

My mom volunteered to host a family reunion here today. It's the side of the family with a priest, an uncle who goes to church like 3 times a week, and two great-aunts who would be nuns except they had to take care of their mom when she got sick.

Sounds like fun, huh? This is what I get to deal with: (ps I have no clue how I'm related to these people)

"Uncle": I taught in a middle school that failed under NCLB for four years. Thing is, we have 30 percent special ed, and they try their best, but they just can't do it.
Aunt: Shouldn't they be separate?
"Uncle": Yeah, probably. But the law says that they all need to be the same. Hopefully we'll have a president who will change things up with that law. I know Mr. McCain won't.
Everyone else in the room: BOOOOOOO!!!!!

Argh. When they asked me what I'm doing this summer, I wisely decided not to mention that I'll be volunteering on a Democratic senator's campaign.

I chose this?

Magnet schools are crazy. The concept is something like this: "Let's put a whole lot of really smart and competitive kids and force them to be together for NINE FREAKING HOURS a day and them give them some crappy teachers* who don't like to, you know, follow the curriculum, so that when they have to take common assessments, they're screwed! Great idea!"


*To my teachers' credit, only one of them is really a bad teacher. Two or three are awesome, and the rest try really hard but I just don't learn much (or at all). And yes, nine hours. 7:15 when the buses get there to 4:10 when classes end. My god.

Saturday, June 7, 2008

Done!

Words can barely describe how relieved I am to be done with that stupid test. I think I did pretty well (remember, I had low expectations) and, as soon as I got home, I threw out all the loose papers and notes I had. It was thrilling.

I walked into the school where I was taking it, which is neither MS or my town school (TS), and had absolutely no clue what to do. I saw a long line of kids checking in, and got onto the end of it. Being on line was incredibly nerve-wracking, since I had no clue what I was doing and didn't know anyone. At the same time, though, it was relieving to hear the girl behind me tell her friend that she had no chance of getting an 1800. I did see two girls from my school, though, which made me happy, but I also saw zillions of random kids who I don't know. Of course, when I got to the front I realized that approximately 99.9% of those kids were checking in for the regular SAT, so I had waited for nothing. I initialed next to my name and saw the room number.

The room was the furthest from check-in (figures), but at least I didn't get lost like I was worried I would. I was sitting in the back corner (yay end of the alphabet!) behind this asian girl who looked like the type who had been studying for years. She had two calculators PLUS extra batteries. And she had friggin earplugs. So we mere mortals wouldn't disturb her, I presume.

The proctor in my room was pretty funny. He read those instructions like he was racing someone. We did the boring old fill-in-your-name thing, and finally started. The test...like I said, not bad. I could have used a few more minutes, but it's okay. I think I still only left two or three blank, and I at least attempted all the questions.

We were the first room done. I'm glad--I felt bad for the kids still testing because they had to deal with the noise from some of the kids in my room, but I wouldn't have wanted to deal with it myself (I had a loud radiator to deal with).

When I got home, I chilled for a bit before returning to my studying and then going to tennis. The week of hell begins the day after tomorrow. I have so much to do, but instead I'm writing a blog post. That sounds like a good idea, right?

Friday, June 6, 2008

Comparing Teachers

A long, long, time ago I wrote a pretty incoherent post about how kids coming from middle school (aka annoying frosh) have totally different criteria for evaluating and describing their teachers than I now do. (In a nutshell: they want the nice teachers who will be easy, I want the teachers who will make me laugh, teach me a lot, but probably not be 'nice')

Over the past couple of days, I've been thinking about two teachers. They both started at my school this fall, and came from public schools in cities (one from Newark, one from NYC). A note: the one from NYC taught at Bronx Science, not some inner-city school that has 50% of its students drop out. I think my arguments will still be true.

Both of them, at the beginning of the year, were clearly not used to my school (MS, for magnet school, from now on) and its hyper-competitive, fairly affluent environment.

One of them, Ms. B, was my teacher for an required interdisciplinary project first trimester. When she heard our conversations about how we needed this grade in that class to get an A, she was shocked. She told us that in Newark where she had last taught, she would never get kids who had B's coming to her begging for A's. rather, the kids who were failing would approach her and try to get her to at least give them D's so they would pass.

My math teacher, Mr. C, last taught at Bronx Science. What I've noticed about him is that he seems to have been trained to an essentially "us vs. them" attitude.

I finished a test about ten minutes early one day, and I immediately started to pack up my stuff so I would have a couple of extra minutes before my next class to decomp from the test. He looked at me and said "What are you doing?"

I was completely taken aback. I said something along the lines of "I'm not allowed to leave?!?" and sat back down. He came over to me and started lecturing me about how he would get sued if I a) did something dumb or b) did something clumsy while I was technically supposed to be in his class, under his supervision. I told him what another teacher had told me last year, that since we have oodles of free time and are unsupervised during that time, it's not as much of a liability issue as it is at schools where the hallways are deserted during classes. He shook his head. I sat at stared at the clock, going back and overthinking all the test questions.

I wrote this post intending to show the difference between city teachers, who are used to dealing with problem kids, and everyone else. Now that I think of it, though, there are three real classifications. I like writing about this, though, so I may (or may not) add to the thought tomorrow.

Speaking of tomorrow, wish me luck!

14 Hours

SATs tomorrow.

Wish me luck.

I already have all my stuff ready.

I know what I'm doing. I can do well on this.

I even have low expectations, so I can exceed them easily. I like that.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

CollegeBoard

Thank you SO MUCH for sending me a reminder that on Saturday I will take the first SAT that actually counts. I just love having additional stress!

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Work Out

Work Out is (was?) one of my favorite shows. I tend to like shows that follow people around and give you at least some impression of what their life is like, (like Kathy Griffin, Little People Big World) and there are very few shows on Bravo that I can't stand, and only a few more that I'd rather not watch. So I started watching Work Out when it came out last year, and I've watched it at least semi-regularly ever since, even though it comes on a little past my bedtime.

For the past couple episodes, though, I've been getting really annoyed with Jackie. I can't stand the way that she's treated Brian Peeler, and I just think that her (understandably) more-stressed-out self is kind of irritating, especially since she so often takes her anger out on other people. I think that she doesn't really understand, or even attempt to understand, other people. It's almost as if she feels like she doesn't have to. I would love to tell her that she does, if her business is going to really succeed.

(And about the business? Maybe if she related more to her trainers they wouldn't all have such issues.)

Sunday, June 1, 2008

SAT-IIs are killing me

I'm taking the Math II Subject Test in less than a week. My scores are not boosting my confidence.

Diagnostic: 650
Test 1: 680
Test 2: 720! Yes!
Test 3: 670. What happened?
Computer Test 1: 660. ????

My rational side is reminding myself that Barron's is famously more difficult than the actual test, but 650? 660? That's crazy!

I think I'm going to sit down and take a practice test that was actually given a few years ago. My math teacher gave it to me. My biggest fear is that I'll do worse. Wish me luck.