I wish.

I wish for so many things. All the time. I don't really know why--I can't help it. But that wishfulness is driving me insane right now, as I think about all the things I want but might never have.

I want to speak a foreign language, in a foreign country. I want to live abroad, but become one of the locals in some other place. I want to be fluent in language in general--not spoken language necessarily, but the way words are used, the power words can have.

I want to be able to not only understand, but use words in a meaningful way. I want to become confident enough that I don't have to worry constantly about how the words popping from my mouth will sound. I want to be able to comfort people, excite people, inspire people. I want to be able to get points across in a way that is effective but not abrasive.

I want to be confident. In life, in work, in school, and in relationships. I want to accept that I will be accepted. I want to stop being labeled a worrier.

I want to stop labeling myself. Constantly. I want my head to stop whirring once in a while, give me a chance at true peace, and let me be less calculating, less restrained, less enclosed, less quiet.

I want to be brave. I want to have the courage to speak against something I believe is unjust, and ignore the consequences. I want to be known as a young woman who stands up for what she believes in.

I want to be a really and truly good person. I want to know that such a thing is possible. I want to stand up to bullies, protect my friends, and forgive my enemies. I want to be known as someone

I want to be realistic. I want my idealism to dissipate silently and perfectly, but i want all those idealistic goals to be realized.

I want everything. I want everything good and everything bad. I want relaxation and stress, work and play, silence and noise. I want happiness and sadness.

I want the world. I want the sun and the skies and the plants and the trees.

I want hope.