my sister and I are so different.

We both talk to ourselves on the tennis court occasionally.

The other day, I was hitting with her and was trying to be nice. I hit a shot slightly wider than I meant to, and her return went into the net. She said "Good try". I said thanks.

She was talking to herself.

When I talk to myself, it's either "jksdhgh why did you do that?!?!?" or "If you had done x, y wouldn't have happened. Next time, remember x." More often the former.

University of Chicago and Northwestern

Some more detailed thoughts about the two schools:

UChicago was great. I loved the neighborhood and the atmosphere around campus. There was stuff going on and so many different types of people around. All the buildings were nice. I loved the library--trust the engineering kid to be fascinated by the stairs!

I also felt like I could fit in with all the people I saw there. A friend of mine has a T-shirt that says "2+2=5 for extremely large values of 2". I LOVE that T-shirt. And there was someone wearing it! I pointed him out to my dad, who proceeded to laugh at me for being such a nerd. But seriously! I could make friends with people who find thast shirt funny! Nerds like me! Yay!

And then there was the bookstore. Seriously. I literally could have spent all day in there. I think the best way I heard it described was a "labyrinth of books". Man. I could live there.

Northwestern. It was okay. But just okay. And the students reminded me of the ones who go to my town high school. For all I know, they could be as nice as they pretend to be. But do I want to take that risk? Evanston was nice, too. It almost reminded me of my town. Weird.

One last random thought: I played tennis today for the first time in weeks. My first shot, I framed the ball completely. My second, I MISSED THE BALL. Epic, epic, fail. But then I won my match, which would have been good, except for I only beat her because I have more match experience than her, so it's not really a true win.

Next time I contemplate not playing tennis for any extended period, stop me please.

Ahh.

Two teachers in a row were absent today, which gave me lots of time to work and procrastinate. Again, I seem to be keeping up fairly well with my workload this year. I was able to finish AP Chem, start thinking about my history essay, outline my answers for Model UN Specialized Committee apps, and figure out a way for my parents to visit all my teachers on back-to-school-night without walking for miles. I also played a few hands of bridge with the nerd crew :)

At tennis, I played first doubles and won in straight sets, 6-0, 6-1.

(That's a good thing, for you non tennis people.)

Tonight:

• History essay detailed outline and/or rough draft.
• MUN apps
• Continue to study for physiology test and figure out what to draw with the essay questions.

Plus, there's a rerun of House on at eight :)

Bad afternoon.

Too frustrated to write.

Bad day

Tired.

Ahead

I'm ahead on my homework.

I am not going to wreck my chance to go to bed early by writing a full blog post.

• Tennis: Not playing, but the team is 3-0. This is our toughest week. Counties this weekend.
  
• Debate: Don't even have to try out.
• Model UN: Chairing! And adviser says that he'll give me a spot on this awesome committee if we get a slot.
• School: Fine. Lit class is loud with theater kids. History is funny. Bio is weird. Chem is fine. AP Chem is fine. Math test on Thursday, don't know what to expect.
• Family: My sister says she hates school. Hello?? Don't complain to me! You had a chance to come to my school and you didn't take it! My dad is having a procedure done tomorrow.

Shower, make lunch, then bed.

Yes, I'm still alive.

Tennis, Day Two.

Tiring. Last night, my calves cramped up. Both my legs hurt like hell--the only thing that soothed them temporarily was warmth. It took me the longest time to figure out a way to go to bed while still keeping the warm water bottles on my legs. Finally, I realized that just bundling myself up would work just as well. So I put on two pairs of knee socks and folded a blanket up so it would only cover my legs. It sort of worked, but I didn't get much sleep.

Tennis was fine. But instead of running, they made us shuffle halfway down, then do crossovers back. And then do it again Not fun. And then during my match my opponent reinjured her hand, an old injury. I hit with one of our instructors, this oldish lefty. He was good. Man, I was hurting after that. He ran me all over the place. His placement was absolutely impeccable. I mean, opposite corners on every shot.

We played some King of the Court later, which was pretty fun, even though we only had one serve and it had to be a spin serve, which I barely know how to do.

Then I went shopping and bought yet another dress at H&M ($20!).

I bought one of Subway's "Five Dollar Foot-longs" for dinner. It was way too big for me, of course.

This post has been more incoherent than usual. I'm exhausted. Four hours of tennis plus shopping? Yikes.

Tennis

My serve today was much better.

My backhand today was really on--too bad I was playing with my dad, who's a lefty. A righty would have missed a bunch of the shots I was hitting, according to my dad at least.

The forehand was meh, as usual.

I didn't volley much, but I was getting to a lot of drop shots.

Tomorrow begins my daily four-hour tennis class. Starting at noon. Wish me luck.

Countdown

Two days left of sophomore year.

Four days until SAT scores come out.

Five or six days until my cousins come back from their college tours.

Eight days until I set foot in Yankee Stadium for the last time.

Twenty days until I leave for vacation.

Sixty-four days until official tennis practice starts.

One hundred five days until the beginning of junior year.

Life is very depressing when you think in terms of a countdown. I don't recommend it.

Tennis, and...

A class.

Since only playing tennis all summer would probably get kind of repetitive, and since I really want to do something intellectual so I can a) put it on my college apps and b) not feel stupid for the first two months of school, I'm going to take a class at the local community college.

Now, though, I have to choose. There are two categories of classes I'm considering. First, you have the ones that would be interesting, but not necessarily "useful", either because I know them already or because they're just weird. Then, there are the ones that will help me, but might not be as fun. So, what do you think? *yes this is a hint*please leave a comment*

Choices (I'll let you guess which fall into which categories):

• Western Civ. since the Reformation
• US History To/Since Reconstruction (two courses. I'm lazy)
• Econ 101: Macroeconomics
• Elementary Stats
• Intro to Philosophy
• Contemporary Moral Issues
• Intro to Religion
• General Psychology
• Sociology 101
• English Composition I

I don't know. The course description that sounds the most interesting is Contemporary Moral Issues, and I think I would learn a lot, but it's from 10-12, and I have tennis at 12:30 12:00. Okay, tennis last year started at 12:30. I think a bunch of my choices are no longer choices. Comment anyway and I'll figure it out...later...

Tennis, Anyone?

This summer, I think I'm going to be playing a lot of tennis.

I called the New Jersey Senators' offices today about my applications.

Lautenberg: He didn't get a slot at all. The lady from his office said that they didn't receive my application. Which I sent in March. Actually, which my school sent in March, because of the ridiculous rule (that 99% of high schools don't have) that no transcripts or recommendations can be sent by the students themselves. I actually don't think that I'm allowed to have a copy of MY OWN transcript.

Menendez: I think the guy said that Senator Menendez only got a slot for a male this year. But I had to call from school (god forbid congressional offices make themselves available to their contituents after five pm) and I couldn't hear well. I also have a cold, and didn't feel like asking him to repeat himself when I could have been taking some meds or something. I asked if my application had been received and he said yes a little too quickly. I don't remember if I even told him my name.

That leaves Congressman Saxton. Who had a page last fall and is thus highly unlikely to get a page this summer. Plus, his staff won't even tell me if I made it to the second round (which they have known since April 14th).

So, instead I'll play tennis, maybe take a course at the local community college, hopefully make varsity, and work on a bunch of campaigns so next year I'll have a better shot. (Maybe I'll make a contact with someone who can make a contact with someone else, who...)

Waiting for something that never comes

Have you ever had that feeling like you know something big is about to happen? And then, you go over what you expect to happen over the next few days and you realize that nothing at all of note is going to occur? And, today, I've got that feeling of anticipation. There are a couple of things that could be happening. First, the freshmen are all away for two days. Maybe I'm expecting something good to come of that. Nothing has so far, unless you count the bus being late because of the freshman taking forever getting their luggage on and off.

And I don't think that anything very exciting will happen within the next few days, unless you count us playing my town in tennis this afternoon. That's just nerve-wracking, though, not exciting. Hopefully we'll win, even though our freshamn first singles player is missing. I'm playing third singles, assuming I'm no longer sick. Last night I was feeling pretty bad, but I think it was just a combination of dehydration and exhaustion. I'm almost feeling normal now.

I began this blog entry on Wednesday, then came back to it today. I've begun to realize that blog entries are better is written in one sitting. This entry is my proof of that.

A Locker

Unless you go to my school, you probably have not heard about the locker issues we've been having. In the past students have been able to choose their lockers outright, and then used a computer system to register themselves. After years of alleged problems with lockers, this year the administration has decided that they do not want to deal with students choosing their own. Of course, they know that assigning lockers randomly would cause a rebellion, and so we all received stickers with our name and homeroom printed on them. Each person received only one sticker. Said stickers were then placed on sign-up sheets with twelve spaces available on them. We finally received our lockers today, after a full week of lugging around all our textbooks, notebooks, and binders. Of course, some people lost the stickers. I'm hardly surprised--they were small, and probably got lost among all the books were carrying.

I recognize that the administration probably thinks that this system works better than the old one. However, not getting a locker until today was pretty annoying. We were told our locker numbers in homeroom, after I had already put my tennis bag in the locker room, with my only lock used to secure it. This morning, I had four classes in a row, with no free time until 11:40, so I still had to carry around my books for a good chunk of the day.

Now, of course, I get to reap the benefits associated with having a locker. For instance, my tennis bag is in there. It sort of fits. My water bottle is too tall for the shelf on top. It's on the bottom instead. And I doubt my laptop is going to fit. I haven't tried yet. If it does, it will only be diagonally, which could make it fairly annoying to fit other books in around it. But looking on the positive side, it's near where I planned to choose my locker. And it's not next to the hallway that now serves as our cafeteria.

Hopefully, next year they will decide that assigning lockers causes too many problems.

Regret

Today I went to play tennis with my dad and my sister. She and Dad argued a bit, after which point there was really no reason to keep playing. Naturally, I realized on our way out (we were still in the driveway of the club) that I have a tennis match against IHA, a tough team, tomorrow, and I had taken about two serves and hit no more than thirty or forty shots. Obviously, yelling to Dad to turn around wasn't a viable option. So now I have to think "Oh my god, I'm not ready for the match. And my serve is still really weak. And AHA killed us."

Now, for the philosophical stuff I promised in my last entry.

That regret disappeared almost as soon as we got home and I ate some junk food. But what is the real difference between such short-term regret and longer, more important feelings. Maybe it's that I can easily blame today's incident on my sister. But maybe it's because what I did wrong today only affects tomorrow. For example, I still regret not trying harder to beat my teammate in the match that would determine who got to play singles. I could sort of blame that on my mother. After all, we didn't get to play a full tiebreaker because she was waiting. But mostly, I blame it on the fact that I didn't play hard enough, that I missed too many serves, that I hit too many balls out.

Now you, my sole reader (you know who you are), may wonder why on earth I chose this topic. If you were looking over my shoulder, however, you would know exactly how this topic came up. I'll give you a hint. I was listening to music...I was listening to Finale B from Rent. Forget regret. I don't know if it's just me, but I think that it takes a certain kind of person to truly forget regret. And I'm definitely not one of them.