Thursday, August 28, 2008

THE WEST WING!!

I was addicted to the show The West Wing for a couple of years. Once it was canceled, Bravo stopped playing reruns pretty much right away (remember "West Wing Marathon Mondays"?). But this morning,they were showing a rerun on Bravo! Yes!

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Crabby.

I am so sick of doing stuff. I get these productive urges and I get some stuff done, but ten minutes later I'm hating what I'm doing.

I'm snapping at people and saying stuff very non-tactfully and all I want to do is crawl into bed and curl up and go to bed.

Plus I'm lonely. It's been years since I've had a friend who I could talk about anything with. That sucks. And my sister is driving me bonkers.

Whenever I'm not alone in the house, I feel so caged in. I can't crank up some music and eat chips and yell and whatever.

And I feel so guilty for feeling like a spoiled brat and being upset about having to tidy up the basement because honestly there are worse things in life.

And I'm playing horribly these days.

And I have this picture of the new school year in my head. Ten months of STRESS. And then another short summer vacation, which will be stressful due to the amount of time I will have to spend with my family. Then ten more months of stress. Then probably more stress at college. My life looks so boring right now.

And I have to stay in shape so I can't eat a gallon of cookies and cream ice cream to make me feel better.

And I have to wake up early tomorrow so I can't wait until midnight when nobody will see me eating the ice cream and then eat it.

Sigh.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Ew.

Phony Doctor Accused of Sexual Assault.

Ew, ew, ew.

BTW: The website of that site isn't working. Sorry bout that.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Plans for tomorrow

On Friday, Coach Y, the varsity coach, told us that we were basically the team. That's very good. But then he told us that there could be changes, which isn't as good. What I have going for me now is that I beat a returning varsity player--he can't exactly keep her and not me without looking like a jerk. But then again, I got cut and then un-cut. So I wouldn't exactly put it past him. I'm just going to try and play my best for the rest of the week until I really feel safe.

We may have our first match on Tuesday. Then, the frosh have orientation on Wednesday and Thursday. I doubt we'll have practice because literally half our team--five out of ten players--is freshmen. Practice Friday, then we'll probably be off Labor Day, then school starts on Wednesday the third. (By the way, what is up with Labor Day being on the first? Seriously?) I looked at schedules online and we have two Saturday matches this year. Oh well. It's not like I would be doing anything, I guess. But having to wake up early on weekends always sucks.

So tomorrow I have practice, then I'm meeting my debate partner to figure out our plan for next season, then we're going to Staples! Now I need to figure out how many things I need.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Don't tell my parents, but

I had ice cream for breakfast today.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Tennis!!!

You may remember this post, where I was really pissed off at getting cut. Well, some crazy things have happened since then.

Tryouts started on Monday. Returning players were called for eight am, and new players were called for four pm. The point of the morning session was to choose players for the varsity team, and the afternoon was for JV. Each team has about 10-12 girls (seven players plus spares).

So we all showed up bright and early and started to "play". The thing was, there were too many of us and not enough courts, so we were playing little matches on half-courts, with winners moving up a half-court and losers moving down a half-court. I started all the way at the bottom (curse that December birthday!) but somehow I managed to move all the way up to the top. I had moved down two spots or so by the end, but I was still one of the top ten players. The next morning I got to practice and found that no less than FIVE new players had been called up to join varsity tryouts. That day, I played doubles with a very,very weak partner. She had zero consistency and just didn't have either power or finesse.

I think it goes without saying that we lost.

That night, I got the email. I was confused. I had done well in everything except the doubles, and I thought that the coaches would have been able to see that my partner was more of a liability than an asset.

I talked to my parents and they made me send the JV coach (who I know better because she was my coach last year) an email asking if I could have a few minutes at Wednesday's practice to talk about what improvements needed to be made in my game. She basically told me that it was because I didn't play doubles. I told her that I've been working on playing doubles all summer. She said that she would let me play doubles that day and then, if I did well, she would send me back up to the varsity tryouts so that the varsity coach could watch me play.

My doubles partner that day was also pretty incompetent, but JV Coach watched almost the entire match. We lost 4-6, and I thought that was it. Afterwards, though, JV Coach came over to me and said "You did very well with a liability". I emailed her that night to ask what practice she wanted me at today (Thursday. She replied that I should come to the morning session with the varsity kids.

First, Coach Y (the varsity coach) had me play singles with a girl, M., who was on varsity last year. I actually won. And I won by a lot. 6-2.

Then we play doubles. I played with M. against two decent players. And we won! 6-1!

At the end of the practice, Coach Y called the names of six or so players that he wanted to move down to the JV level.

He didn't call my name. Did I just make varsity?

LOL

I actually kind of feel bad for these guys.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Thoughts on Colleges

Here are my totally random thoughts on the colleges I've visited. Not in sentence form.
  1. Williams College: WOODS. Way out in the boonies.
  2. Swarthmore: Very pretty. Safety? No B.S. degree--very liberal arts-y.
  3. Lehigh: Hills. Hills. Stairs. More hills.
  4. Lafayette: Pretty!! Really collegiate looking. VERY VERY cool government and law library. I mean, WAAAAAY cool. Like, I almost fainted. They had a portrait of John Marshall, too.
  5. Columbia: The core curriculum is intense. Really intense. There is almost no time to figure out what exactly you want to do if you don't really know (please don't tell my parents I said that).
  6. Penn: Traffic and noise. But really cool academic programs.
  7. Fairleigh Dickinson/William Paterson: a) not going to a commuter school and b) if I fail the SATs that badly, I'll retake.
Also, random gchat conversation:

Him:

we debate thing jetlag

and the thing with the phone

where i beeped beeep bep bep bep

or the zrrrrrrrrr or something

you know what i mean

me:

lol

yeah my sister looked at the caller id history and told me you called

but once she told me the wrong person

so i didn't take her seriously

sorry

Him:

yeah i did call you

WELL

WELL FUCK YOU

WOMAN

me:

LOL

don't call me woman

Him:

how about

me:

sexist

Him:

womun

you want to be called

sexiest

?

me:

no

i find is somewhat sexist when people call women WOMAN

because nobody would ever call a guy MAN

me:

but yes

we need to work

I'm free between like 11 and 3 every day

Him:

i love how you understood me

i'm free

come tomorrow

wait

i have a driving lesson

have dinner here

or something

yes

do that

me:

i have tennis til six

then i would have to change/ shower/ etc

we would have to eat at like nine

which isn't really normal

Him:

damn, woman

me:

argh

men

they never listen

Him:

heheheheheheheheh

OH!

POPE!

i got two of them!

me:

comas

Him:

cards

YES

those too


I think my stats are suddenly going to shoot up. The Pope was mentioned, for God's sake for crying out loud.

FUCK FUCK FUCK

After several discussions, Varsity Coach and I concluded that you need another year of JV. Therefore, please go to the 4pm tryout session instead of the 8am tryout session.
JV Coach

Time to get serious...

The beginning of tryouts has forced me to face the fact that I need to get ready for school to start. So I made a list! Bolded items are the hard ones.
  • Read Oedipus the King.
  • Complete notes on Oedipus the King.
  • Read "Introduction to Oedipus the King".
  • Read "Greece and the Theater".
  • Write essay exploring a motif in Oedipus the King.
  • Read Science Friction.
  • Buy school supplies and new clothes.
  • Call Lautenberg campaign to line up volunteer work.
  • Buy SAT prep books.
  • Take full-length SAT practice test.
  • Reorganize desk.
  • Buy new tennis shoes.
The thing about this list is that none of the things left, other than shopping and the practice test, require large blocks of time. So theoretically I should be able to knock these things off easily. But something's telling me that some of this is going to be left undone until crunch time.

Unrelated thought: Isn't it weird how when you're really really hungry, your belly suddenly goes from flat and empty to giant and bloated and empty? But then you take two little bites of something and you're back to the nice flat stage?

The Most Depressing Section of Barnes and Noble

Test prep.

After tennis this morning we went to Barnes and Noble so I could buy an SAT prep book. I thought it would be pretty easy. I mean, grab the Barron's and go, right? But then there were so many choices!

First of all, why on earth are all those books thirty bucks apiece? They're paperback and printed on cheap newsprint! Yes, they have a CD, but wholsesale those go for like 35 cents! The price shouldn't increase any more than a dollar!

Then there are the choices about which to get. There was the normal book, and then there was the special one for people aiming for top scores, and then there were the separate books for each section (the writing one was VERY tempting).

If money hadn't been an issue at all, I would have gotten the Barron's regular book, plus the Barron's 2400 book, plus the Barron's writing workbook, plus the "Increase your essay score in three minutes a day" book. Instead, I got the regular book and the 2400 book. I came pretty close to getting a Peterson's regular review because it was around forty percent cheaper, but my dad actually encouraged me to just pick out the one I thought would help the most. Which was the Barron's. I've found that their sample tests and exercises are just hard enough to motivate me, but not so hard that I panic.

Since I feel guilty for making my parents pay for the more expensive book (I know, I'm a weird teenager), I'm justifying it to myself by remembering that if these books work, I won't be taking the thousand-dollar review course. My plan is to study pretty hard for the November SAT by myself. My goal is 2200 overall, with at least 1500 or so in CR and math. If I score somewhere around there, then I'll study more by myself and take it again in March or so. If I do a lot worse, then I'll probably take a course or get a tutor or something. Probably what would change that would be if I did even worse on the writing section than I did on the PSAT. The thing is, those goals are definitely doable. Using the PSAT scores to guess (remember, the only studying I did was to memorize the instructions), I would have a 2080, with 1450 CR and math. I'll be REALLY upset if I don't make that.

I do have some things going for me. First, I did well on the math subject test, which has sort of erased my old idea that I'm a bad standardized test-taker. Also, while studying for that, I FINALLY broke my habit of filling in random answers that got started when we had to take those reading tests in third grade and our teachers would remind us again and again to not leave any blank. So that should raise my score from when I took the PSAT. Plus, I know more vocab words than I did and I'm better at finding main ideas and themes. So, in theory, I'm in decent shape. Or at least, I will be once I study.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Good news/Bad news

Good news:

The tennis elbow is slowly disappearing, probably because I caught it so early.

I think I have a decent chance of making varsity.

BEACH VOLLEYBALL IS ON TONIGHT. AND SO IS GYMNASTICS.

I'm slowly but surely making my way through the chemistry summer reading book.

We are almost definitely going shopping next Saturday.

I actually got paid! And I made more than minimum wage!

Bad news:

Suddenly I've started spending way too much time wondering why the hell I let myself worry about the grades I get and what college I get into. Because seriously? In the scheme of things, it doesn't matter. At all. And that's a very depressing thought. And the added depression is worse than the lessened pressure.

All the sales were last Saturday. So we're going to get much less bang for our very limited supply of bucks.

I think my library books might be overdue.

My desk is still a mess.

This blog has gone from a place where I actually put paragraphs together to a place where I don't even bother using bullets for my list because I always have to go in and hardcode them because blogger is a pain in the butt. I think this stems from my complete inability to keep my mind on one thing for longer than about ten seconds. See conclusion below.

Conclusion:

My life is confused, in a very major way.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Worst. Timing. Ever.

Tennis elbow. The day before tryouts start.

Michael Phelps

IS GOD.

But thanks to him, my family now thinks I'm crazy. What, jumping up and down and screaming at the tv isn't normal????

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Back-to-school shopping!!

Here's my list...

Supplies:
  • Pencil case
  • Book socks
  • Desk calendar
  • Whiteboard and marker
  • Binders
  • Planner
  • Flash drive? maybe...
  • Pens
  • Construction paper
  • Glue stick
  • Eraser caps
Clothes:
  • 2-3 pairs of jeans
  • 1-2 dress shirts
  • 2-3 long sleeved shirts
  • 1-2 sweaters
  • Light jacket
Is there anything really obvious I'm missing? I have pencils and looseleaf already.

The plan is that my parents will supply my sister and I with money and drop us off at the mall. We'll shop, then probably have lunch there. Then they'll take us to Staples, and we'll buy fresh binders and folders and pens and all that good stuff.

Tentative date: next Saturday, ten am. I can't wait!

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Things not to say to a beginning driver.

  • Follow them! [referring to pedestrians, animals, or cars going in the opposite direction]
  • [gasp]
  • Eh, nobody does that. [referring to a traffic law]
  • Do you know how close you just got to that car/tree/person/etc?!?!?
  • Look over there!
  • Well, at least you didn't hit anything...
  • A few more months of practice and you'll be good!

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

I'm officially female. The internets said so.

Likelihood of you being FEMALE is 100%
Likelihood of you being MALE is 0%


SiteMale-Female Ratio
google.com
0.98
yahoo.com
0.9
msn.com
0.92
aol.com
0.82
myspace.com
0.74
youtube.com
1
amazon.com
0.9
facebook.com
0.83
target.com
0.67
comcast.net
0.89
whitepages.com
0.75
webmd.com
0.69
nytimes.com
1.13
bestbuy.com
1.11
monster.com
0.82
sears.com
0.98
wunderground.com
1.22
foodnetwork.com
0.63
tv.com
0.96
kmart.com
0.63
accuweather.com
1.2
epinions.com
1.17
oldnavy.com
0.59
gap.com
0.71
staples.com
0.98
nymag.com
0.92
hotmail.com
0.83
sparknotes.com
1
collegeboard.com
0.96
bathandbodyworks.com
0.4
navy.mil
1.33
columbia.edu
0.87
freetranslation.com
0.89
neopets.com
0.72
fanfiction.net
0.65
upenn.edu
0.82
johnmccain.com
1.27
gmail.com
0.9
audible.com
0.82
usa.gov
0.92
ratemyprofessors.com
0.69
uchicago.edu
0.89
hm.com
0.57
usanetwork.com
0.59
bravotv.com
0.44
delias.com
0.57
dreammoods.com
0.42
sc.edu
0.89
princetonreview.com
0.89
tudou.com
0.85
sallybeauty.com
0.36
thebreastcancersite.com
0.25
northwestern.edu
0.9
njtransit.com
0.83
brown.edu
0.94
freetetris.org
0.83
tufts.edu
0.92
collegeconfidential.com
0.96
kaptest.com
0.79
panynj.gov
1.08


Now, keep in mind that my sisters and cousins have all been on my laptop (uh, neopets? yeah not mine.), but they're all girls too.

Wow.

(From Bitch, Ph.D.)

Monday, August 4, 2008

Just got back

I taught little kids tennis this morning!

I had to wake up early, but it was worth it. Yeah, they're pretty bad. But I think I saw some improvement in two of the kids. (One of the others was already decent, and the fourth kid just kind of wandered around obliviously. Don't really know what to do about that.)

Dentist appointment in half an hour. Last time they told me I had the beginnings of a cavity that may or may not turn into one. I'm PRAYING it's not.

I hate the dentist.

Sunday, August 3, 2008

An alternative to Purel

Now, I love sanitizing gel. I mean, I LOVE it. I love that you can just stick a bottle in a pocket and know that your hands are clean. Maybe it doesn't help as much as I'd like to believe, but it gives me peace of mind.

I've never had a problem with them smell of Purel. My sister has always hated it (which might explain why I don't) and thus has never really used it. But, as a gift, she got a bottle of Bath and Body Works' sanitizing gel that smells like yummy vanilla! And she lets me use it! Yay!

Saturday, August 2, 2008

One month to go...

and I have a lot that I want to do. Some of it's practical, some of it's not, but there's only one month left! And only two weeks before tennis starts up.

Warning: this post RAMBLES. A LOT.

I was miserable in tennis. Twenty hours a week, for what was going to be five weeks, was WAY too much, even ignoring the obnoxious twelve-year-old boys who practically turned me into a homicidal maniac. It helped, obviously. My coach, who hasn't given me any private lessons since the beginning of camp, was watching yesterday and told me that I've improved a LOT. Over the past couple days, since I've been trying to look for little bits of happiness at tennis, I have been noticing that I make a lot more of the "touch" shots, that are all about precision and control, than I used to. I can even handle myself at net now, unless the ball comes too fast at my head. But, since I was miserable and lonely, we managed to cancel the rest of camp sessions I was going to do. Instead, I'll play with my dad and take a few private lessons. Plus, I was asked to help teach little kids next week at the indoor tennis place I play at in the winter! (Only con: it's at nine a.m.)

So all of a sudden, I have a bunch of free time! Yay! I already went to the library. While I was on vacation, I read Election and Little Children by Tom Perrotta, and The Firm and The Street Lawyer by John Grisham. Then, this week I read The Abstinence Teacher, also by Perrotta, and I have Closed Chambers and In Our Defense out from the Library.

Perrotta's books were recommended to me by my freshman Lit teacher. Little Children and The Abstinence Teacher were both good. I clearly didn't like them as much as he did, but they were interesting, and Perrotta is REALLY good at developing characters. I mean, REALLY good. The problem with that is that by the end of the books you could half-predict what would happen. Election, the other book of his that I read, was way more enjoyable, probably because it focused on a student council election, and I could see parallels between characters and people at school.

John Grisham is John Grisham. I don't think much more explanation is necessary, other than saying that I thought all the main characters in The Firm were seriously fucked up. And the guy in The Street Lawyer was awesome.

I've also been watching lots of TV (bad postscript!) and just sitting around. This is good for me, I think, because I'm STILL feeling the stress from last year weighing down on me. Plus I know about all the different Law and Order shows, so I have figured out why I like SVU much more than the others. I think it's because I've always loved shows with strong and (maybe overly) idealistic, yet flawed, female leads (like Allison Janney in The West Wing and Amy Brenneman in Judging Amy). And neither of the other L&O shows have that.

The other day I had a doctor's appointment and successfully argued my way out of TWO OF THREE shots they were going to give me. Yes! But the doctor told me that he could tell I was right handed because the muscle in my right shoulder is apparently VISIBLY bigger than the one in my left shoulder. I'm still trying to decide whether that's cool or weird. I mean, I can't tell. But he could. Weird.

I've been doing a lot more little things, but I feel like doing nothing. Maybe I'll write some more later. Or maybe not.

Things yet to come this summer: Volunteer work. College visits. Phone calls and emails. Shopping. And, of course, summer reading.